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To a Man Called Sunlight2009
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Mar 20, 2012 11:56 am
567 Views
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Hello sweet man...if u ever read this...its the only way i can speak to u...i have to be honest...u hurt me today...why am I different if u r on that site too? why r u on there? It is Cybersex after all.
I am not married yet..will be soon..yes...i am 'taken'. so i never said i didn't want u..or whtever u thought. Maybe we r just not communicating well.
At any rate, just wanted to make things clearer and couldn't on that site. Sorry i disappointed u. I am still davey..still a hurting, vulnerable, guy..loving men, loving my woman...a little, no alot mixed up.
Have a good life...
me
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i m so frustrated!
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Feb 25, 2012 8:06 pm
654 Views
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Hey guys: all of u who have sent me super flirts and winks and hugs...if u want to contact me...u will have to email me as i m too cheap to upgrade! lol
love to get in touch w/ u Aussie men!!!!
i know this is only a freakin blog...hopefully someone actually checks in on me this way....
if so...HERE I AM!
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I can't contact u
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Feb 1, 2012 3:04 pm
809 Views
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All u lovely men who've viewed me..and i've winked or sent smiles to, i can't email u w/out paying for upgrade which i refuse to do. I can't afford to anyway.
so if any of u are serious about wanting to write or chat..i'm still up for it even tho i marry in may. gonna get my gayness out while i can. lol
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oh yeah...
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Jan 22, 2012 5:07 pm
720 Views
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Oh, yeah...my thanks to two gents who knocked on my door here and offered me their sage advice. I always listen...I appreciate your time guys and your interest in me.
Hope you all find what your looking for...that wonderful man who fills the bill, who you can spend your days and nights with, go to games with, go to the shows, movies, dinner, w/e floats ur boat. Mostly, sitting alone in a room with the quietness and the relaxation that comes with true love and friendship. Those long silences are comforts not strained lapses in your relationship. They are musical rests placed in the perfect spot so the symphony of your love swells with the chorus.
Sing well gentlemen...all of you...live, love and laugh...
davey (still bi but on hold for life)
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Congratulations To Me
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Jan 22, 2012 4:58 pm
724 Views
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Congrats, Davey! You're going to be a Dad!
Congrats, Davey, you hurt a wonderful man; but maybe not as much as your puffed up ego thinks. He had someone waiting on his doorstep for the right opening. He came right in..even before i knew i was a dad and had to tell him. Oh, no problem...he said:
Congrats, Davey, you'll make a wonderful father!
And I will. Of that I'm dead sure. Loosing mine at a young age sure made me realize how much i needed him, how much i missed him. all my games...no dad; my first 6 pointer, no dad; now, at my up coming wedding, no dad. And he would have been a great grandpa too.
but, dad, there were some things i'm glad u missed. me and r.. being together, rebecca finding out, leaving me....u missed seeing ur son become the cur of the family this holiday, altho i'll give it to mom. she did come around just b4 Christmas. She welcomed her 'gay' son into her house. God you gotta love her for that now, don't ya?
I almost --almost--flew overseas to be w/ ----. I almost had the tickets in my hand. I almost jeopardized my very precious job to leave for a week and go see him, put my arms around him, hold him close, maybe even kiss his lips, maybe even more. Hell, i'd of made sure it was more!
What does this make me now? Will i get over him? I wonder if he has gotten over me. Maybe it won't be hard for him seeing its his first love that's come back to him after many years. And what r the odds of this happening? I mean, all of it happening? Him coming back to him...reb getting pregnant...well, she was b4 i was 'bad' and cheated on her with the 'other man.'
Maybe someone reading this would say, ur f----- up, buddy. You're only getting what u deserve. I would say, well said. I think so.
But, I'll get up in the morning and be in a fairly good mood for going to work. The Patriots won their game..they're in the play offs!!
I will put all my concentration into saving enough money to build her that dream home we've talked about. Now i just have to step it up a bit. I have my goals: to be a good husband, a good father.
And a good lover...by letting him go, really letting him go...if i can.....
I
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I just want to cry
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Jan 10, 2012 8:09 pm
836 Views
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that btw is a title to a song..but it is the way i feel. so much has happened since november. gosh, my girl ditched me cuz i had w/ my best friend (a guy); i don't blame her. she says she can never trust me. so, i get on a few sights thinking..well, let's fly w/ the bi thing. i might as well, as i only want her for a wife. there's no sense dating girls at any point. so i'll explore this other side that has risen up time and again, only to be repressed and squelched by me.
then i meet the greatest guy in the world on line. we fall for each other and then my girl makes it known it is NOT over! Now what? Well, she is in my blood and i've only known this great dude for 2 months. do i fly over to see him and throw my whole world upside down for what i think is a hot love affair w/ a man i barely know? or do i set my house in order and go back with the woman that stirs me up inside so badly i can't see straight.
thing is, so does he! Am i crazy? immature? stupid? latching on to anything decent that comes my way? am i desperate? i think he was. we've only seen pics of each other. that's it. never heard one another's voice. I always held off on that bec i knew if i heard his sexy accent i was toast. also i was scared i couldn't shut things down w/ him and i knew i must.
it was hard...painful...gut wrenching. i hurt him and hurt myself. i have a whole vocabulary of names to call myself bec of what i did to ..... and ..... and ..... three people involved in this dumb triangle. altho the former friend..one of the three deserved the crap end of the stick bec he was beginning to treat me as a Sub and slave. that's what he thinks i am.
at one point he had me convinced that's all i was good for. but my new boy friend saved my a.. from that decrepit life style and talked sense into me. thank God for him.
so who am I? i am 35 single never been married guy who loves kids, wants a family with this wonderful woman, but also is in love with the man who helped me out of a terrible relationship. he was my savior and i ended up hurting him by taking my girl friend back.
we still write, as friends as we started out as just friends. i am hoping he will find a wonderful man. i am even on the look out on here for him. he will have to be very special. not a user or liar, a gentle person, a fun person, a faithful kind of dude. I was all those things, except i was attached to someone and i made that clear from the beginning.
so you say, what are you doing on here? trying to figure out myself...what i did...if i'd do it again ...i still have raging desires to be with a man in every way. to be kissed and held and well...fill in the blanks guys. i've had abusive ; i would like to know what loving a... is. which my friend told me existed and we would have had if i hadn't gone back to gf.
i have regrets and i have doubts...but when i hold her the questions and answers don't matter any more, neither does the world. all is well. when she's mad at me or not able to see me..i instantly doubt everything and start to get lonely and get on gay sites and fill my head with the what ifs.
is there any one else out there that goes thru this as a bi male? am i the only one? is there something wrong with me?
if you have any answers ...i will listen..
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I am a bisexual....
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Dec 11, 2011 4:16 pm
1121 Views
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I just found a word i never knew was out there to describe a bisexual: ambisextrous. Interesting. I am also ambidextrous too. Wonder if that has anything to do with it?
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3
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Cracking the ice
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Dec 4, 2011 1:58 pm
1058 Views
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Cold in the northern parts. Just HAD to go out one last time (maybe not last)in kayak. Some parts of the water had ice on it and it was easy to break through, but soon it will be better for ice skating.
Glad for the sun, the warmth, the feel of it on my head and neck. No breeze, so it was just right. Water still, not one ripple, like a gigantic mirror as it reflected back to my eyes the clouds above in perfect symmetry. The farms at a distance, I framed in my camera like something from a Grandma Moses or Will Moses painting.
Life is good as long as I stay by myself. Contact with homo sapiens still too painful.
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newbie experiences
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Nov 17, 2011 12:13 pm
959 Views
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yeah so my blog title is a bit of a come on. What the hey. i've decided to not be depressed today. sure i got a lot of things going wrong right now. just outed by my fb...i mean the f to be in front of the b...figure it out. yeah, that's what he did. out me after we had our fling.
but instead of staying all pissed off, i am going to concentrate on what i find good in my life. i have one faithful sister who still talks to me. i have her kids who r great 2 b around. i have my job which i'm told will last thru the winter. i have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, one six pack to see me thru the week and wkend. the Patriots won over the Eagles...ha ha ha...let's see...oh yeah...i already got my deer. will try for muzzle loading season to get another ..nothing like standing out in the woods, everything is quiet, its cold, usually a bite in the wind that braces me for the hunt.
i sit and think about rebecca and the loss of relationship. i think about what could have been. i think and ask myself what is my connection with men? idk but its o.k. its there and i m going to enjoy it. live my life. no matter what 'they' say. i am who i am and altho i'm not perfect, i know i am a caring man, have a lot to offer and someday someone will come along...i just have to be patient.
in the meantime, i want to have fun, laugh, crack jokes, make friends and hold my quiet thoughts, even my hurt under my jacket, close to my heart and under cover for now.
usually nobody wants to listen to a whiner, unless ur the bartender and have to stand there. so i'm gonna see what i can get out of this 'disaster' and try to weather this storm with my head held high and my ears and heart open to anyone in my line of vision.
my quest for love continues...
as does my quest for an 8 pointer
as does my quest for the 'perfect' (for me) partner--one who can keep my secrets, and i'll keep his.
so i'm a very inquisitive guy. i'm a thinker, a ponderer, an analyzer, i'm quiet, shy almost in person at first, then i'm the type to be ur best friend. i believe in loyalty and friendship.
does anyone else?
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To link to this blog (davey703) use [blog davey703] in your messages.
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