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THANKSGIVING DAY
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Nov 27, 2008 5:08 pm
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 HAVING THIS OPEN ON THANKSGIVING DAY REMINDS ME OF WHAT THANKSGIVING IS ABOUT. THE BEAUTY OF LIFE AND BEING A PART OF IT.
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& STILL...
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Nov 27, 2008 5:01 pm
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 MY NEXT ADVENTURE IS TO WATCH PAINT DRY. WHO WANTS TO JOIN ME? I MUST HAVE LOST MY HEAD. I ASKED A QUESTION LIKE ANYONE WILL ANSWER.
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STILL WAITING
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Nov 27, 2008 4:51 pm
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 I'M TELLING YA TALKING TO TREES IS A VIABLE FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT AROUND HERE. 
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IS IT ME??
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Nov 25, 2008 7:25 am
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 I am very new to blogging. I thought it would be fun to try and for the most part I've enjoyed getting my thought out there. At times it has been therapeutic. I've had quite a time of it the past couple months. I've been ridding the emotional roller coaster of extreme high and lows. I've been ready for for a boring week.
I have been wondering, and I hope you will help me with this thought. I don't have any comments except for my posting of Linus. When I noticed this I checked out about a half dozen other blogs and there are comments,(not a lot), in every other blog site I looked at. I've been thinking about this for a while now and so I thought I'd ask. Is it me? I get lots of visitors, actually about three times the amount of visitors than on my other blog site.
I don't want to come across as complaining, I'm just curious. When my friend told me about blogging I thought it would be a fun way to keep in contact with gay people and get a camaraderie going via cy ber connection. Believe me when you move from Minneapolis of 560,000 people to a small S.W. MN town of 5460 people, talking to trees looks like a viable hobby.
Well if anyone is interested in helping me figure this phenomenon it would be cool to find out.
Well it's getting to be about that time of year, so if I don't get back before, I'd like to wish everyone out here a very HAPPY THANKSGIVING. For those traveling to be with loved ones I pray for a safe and enjoyable journey to you all.
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My white pumpkin
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Nov 5, 2008 10:13 am
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A close-up of my pumpkin. I can't do anything regular. Things have to be traditional with a flair!! Do you like?
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WAS IT A GOOD HALLOWEEN?
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Nov 1, 2008 1:44 pm
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So did everyone have a good Halloween? I did. A friend stopped over with his son and we gutted out the pumpkins. They were a little surprised to see how I finished them.
The kids came in droves. It sort of looked like a neighborhood out of a movie sceen. It was like some director choreographed the the sidewalk and all the parents with their kids were spaced perfectly.
The parade of costumes ended early. Cory and I watched a movie and then did some on line gambling. He took his litle one home and I brought everything in, closed up the candy shoppe, and took pictures of my pumpkins. Can you see the ball of blue over my right shoulder in the photo? That was my white pumpkin. Lots of OOoohs & AAAhhhhs because of it.
Now I get to start planning Thanksgiving!!!
Have a good one!!!
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DO YOU GET INTO HALLOWEEN?
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Oct 24, 2008 3:26 am
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 I can't really put into words the excitement I feel when I see the first grouping of pumpkins in front of a grocery store, or piled nipple high in those huge boxes in front of Wal-Mart. The Holidays are just around the corner starting with Halloween!!
This year I decided to go with white pumpkins. I've never baught one. Now I can say I have. I've already picked up 2 of the large Kiddy Kandy Mixes and I'll get the candy bars right before the big night. Can't trust myself with that much chocolate in the house. I know from past experience. I try and have enough candy so the costumed terrors can have one good handfull each. The rule at this house; what ever you can get in one grab.
No I'm not the crazy old guy on the block who entises kids to his home with the promise of lots of sweets. I'm the young at heart, trying to make sure that each and every kid in my presense has at least a few fond memories of their childhood.
Nothing gets under my skin more than hearing old people complain about the holidays. You see, I was placed in foster care at the age of six months old. One of the first homes that I can remember was a very strict evangelical/pentacostal preachers family. They were so strict we weren't allowed to celebrate holidays. I was placed with them at the age of four and was with them til I was seven. I didn't know what Halloween was til I move to another foster home at seven and they asked what I wanted to be for Halloween. They couldn't believe they had to explain to my brother and I what this holiday was. We didn't celebrate Thanksgiving like everyone else did. According to them sinners practised glutteny and they stuffed themselves and showered themselves with gifts when the gifts should always go to God. Our Thanksgiving was prayer and fasting all day. Praying for the gluttens foregivness. Christmas was the same only more intense because it was Jesus' birthday and we spent our entire day in prayer thanking God for Jesus. I'd never seen a birthday cake, the concept of a Christmas tree baffled me, and my brother and I were scared to death the first time our new foster parents took us to the store to buy costumes to wear for Halloween. Why did they want us to dress up like demons?
It took us a couple of years to get use to this holiday stuff. Our biggest obsticle was getting over the fear we were going to hell for partaking in these events.
As an adult I make sure every holiday is celebrated to the fullest, catering to the spirit of childhood. I donate to food shelves, give to the Spirit of the Tree gift program, and make sure my door is open on the holidays for anyone who might be alone or doing without. Not on my watch!
This year do me and yourself a favor? Really celebrate the Holidays. Your childhood memories will come flooding back and you never know who's spirit you can touch.
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And Life Continues...
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Oct 12, 2008 4:41 am
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This past Friday I finally closed a very dark and secretive chapter to my life. I assisted my sister with the funeral plans of our mother. Sis took our mothers death much harder than I did. There were times she was overwhelmed with details and I'd step in and try to lighten the burden but she didn't let go very easily. Both my sisters always wanted to have a close relationship with their mother. No matter how much they did for her over the past couple decades, they never felt as if mom was watching and was proud of what they've accomplished. Truth is she didn't acknowledges any of us.
I can admit at one point all of us were hoping to be returned to our parents and to each other. She was never able to get her drinking under control. Her life continued to spiral out of control until her parental right were terminated. It was then we lost contact with our sisters after being placed in separate foster homes and assigned different social workers. My brother Mark and I promised each other we would never stop looking for our sisters and when we found them we would all go home together.
As I stumbled through my teenage years the pact didn't seem as important. I was older now and I wondered if my sisters would even like who I'd become. I had taken it upon myself to learn the truths behind my turbulent life. The more truths I found, the more hatred built up in my heart. By this time in my life my brother and I had been separated and I lost contact with him also.
We all did manage to find each other and tried to take our places in each others lives, but there wasn't any Oprah moment reunions. Like Humpty Dumpty we just couldn't be put back together again. We had all investigated our history with our parents and we all found the same things: Lies, severe abuse, neglect, and abandonment. Again I repeat we all found the same thing; Hatred.
Since our mothers passing I have been blessed with the spirit of foregiveness. It's amazing! At the age of 41 I can now see myself as a man with experiences rather than a boy who was a victim. Last week I was out shopping for a baby shower gift for my neice. That same day I was ordering floral arrangements for our mother's barial. With the gathering of our blood line we laid to rest one of our elder generations. With a gathering of our spirits we prepare to welcome the newest member of our next generation, and life continues.
siouxguy
p.s. The photo was taken this past spring when the neices and nephew stopped over to visit me while I recovered from surgury. Come hell or high waters these miracles will have happy stories to tell of their childhood.
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A Time To Foregive
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Oct 2, 2008 7:32 am
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Sunday morning at 3:41 a.m. my phone started to ring. I usually don't answer it at that time but the caller kept calling back. I fianlly answered it. It was my sister calling to inform me our mother had just passed away. We only spoke for a couple minutes. I replaced my phone back on it's charger and I sat in silence for a few moments. I couldn't believe how peaceful I felt.
As I continued to sit in this state of awkward peace I foregave her. All the anger, questions, and hate disappeared. It wasn't a decission I made, rather an event that happend. What was done was done, what was said was said. Now it's over.
I baught her a mother's ring as a token of my foregiveness and I will be placing it in her urn before the funeral.
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To link to this blog (siouxguy) use [blog siouxguy] in your messages.
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Wow...I'm thinking no responce is my answer.
